Octoberfest: Day 17 "Matchy, Matchy"

As you guys know, on Day 3 of Octoberfest, I created an online dating profile with eHarmony. I'm sure you're all wondering whether that has produced any dates yet. While I do enjoy being able to set a slower pace as I get used to this whole phenomenon, let's just say the locomotive hasn't even left the station yet. I've had some guys I contacted and it has resulted in a stalemate of no further communication. For Day 17, I decided to up the ante a little bit; take the stakes up a little higher. So I created an online dating profile through match.com. Holy hell, whereas eHarmony takes things just a notch faster than molasses or paint drying, match.com is like the turbo version, the high voice version, the amped up on caffeine version. I'm not used to guys being so....forward and aggressive. Because I usually find most things in life comical, this too has provided for quite a few laughs just in the two days that my profile has been listed. Yes, I said two days. And yes, I just compared myself to a real estate listing. As I maneuver my way through this crazy approach to dating, I certainly do not have all of the rules figured out. But call me crazy I think I have enough of an idea to know that the following ways to approach someone may not be as effective as these guys would like to believe. Here I give you a little segment I'd like to call: "Don't do that. Why would you do that?"

Not effective

Take a picture of yourself looking at a mirror taking a picture of yourself
We've all seen it right? The person looking at themselves in the mirror with the phone raised up shielding probably the most important feature: the face. And snap goes the picture. Two things have occurred to me when witnessing this photography bust - one, some of the phones are actually equipped with facing cameras, perhaps you should check that first? And two, for the love of G do you not have at least ONE person who would be willing to snap a picture of you??

Must love artificial....chestacle regions
People in general are visual creatures, guys especially, I get it. When deciphering an attraction to someone, the obvious pull comes from physical features at first. Whether your preference is real or artificial enhancements, let's keep that information to yourself, capish? I'm not impressed with someone who actually has the cajones to say "Must have fake you know whats" Ay..ay..ay...unbelievable.

Winter Boytoy
I received an email from one potential suitor mere hours after I signed up for my profile. He is coming home to Iowa for the winter from being in Alaska and said to me "you're beautiful would you like a boytoy for the winter?" Umm...no, I really don't. I mean maybe if I had a pool to upkeep or a yard that needed mowed. But this guy didn't really look like a "boytoy" type if you catch my drift. He did look like a boy...just not a boytoy.

I mean people are brazen! So the match.com experience so far has been a little aggressive for my taste. I suppose if someone is not an ideal match you want to know right away before wasting any time on something that isn't a good fit. But geez, I'm not comfortable on a high speed rail service either. I'm not going to quit though because it's all part of the learning experience. I think I'm just learning I may have a slight aversion to trains...