Octoberfest Day 24: "Cheese de Philadelphia"

I woke up today feeling extra crabby. And I'm not sure why. I had great ambitions to perform another random act of kindness today as my Octoberfest activity. But I just didn't have the heart for it. It didn't occur to me until tonight what my activity would be. I promised you guys something new every day of the month, right? And not all of those things are quote, unquote activities. Sometimes they are metaphorically something new. I have tried to provide entertaining accounts of my day-to-day events but I enjoy it very much when I can provide something useful as well. My new activity for today was dealing with a bad day in a way I don't normally do. As I mentioned, I don't really know why I was in such a foul mood. I think that it's so easy for us to get caught up in our obligations and that becomes very overwhelming at times. I've been trying to get caught up on everything since my parents' party. And given my ripe old age of 31, I'm still tired from my parents' party LOL and that isn't helping matters. I made it through the day at work and then I had to attend a guest speaker at Drake as part of our class. Honestly, I wanted to just go home. My classmates and I decided to grab sushi before the speaker. I love these people! :) As a group, we are always laughing hysterically about random stuff and we commiserate over class requirements together. I really wanted to skip the speaker tonight because I just didn't feel up to it, I would have liked to just go home and go to bed but I'm glad that I didn't skip it because the light-hearted laughing helped to improve my mood. Case in point - after I realized I was charged an extra $3 for cream cheese on my sushi rolls (highway robbery!), Chris told a story about being in Mexico and really loving the dip that this hotel had provided. And when he asked the guy what it was made from he replied, "cheese de Philadelphia." LOL Ahhh we got a really good laugh out of that one :). So the tired, overwhelmed, defeated, not sure where to start mood continued even after I left my classmates. If I could have stayed laughing with them a little longer I'm sure my mood would have continued improving. So on the way home, I craved comfort food thinking it would make me feel better. So I stopped at McDonald's and ordered a coke and a sundae, feeling even more guilty because one of the things I'm feeling down on myself for is not eating healthy or getting to the gym lately. Sigh. I'll start tomorrow. I got home and to be honest, the coke didn't taste good, and the sundae didn't hit the spot. So I didn't consume either. Ugh. That didn't work. I let my dog outside and realized there's a hole in my fence where it literally looks like someone punched the wood out. Great. Just what I need. I walk into the yard to assess the damage and I stepped in dog poop. Ok, I'm fighting a losing battle here. And that's when it occurred to me that what I really need to do is give up and go to bed. I think we all live such busy lives that when we feel overwhelmed our first instinct is to do more. But in reality, sometimes those situations call for some TLC for ourselves. I know that I'm tired. What I would normally do is stay up until my usual bedtime of midnight or after checking a few more items off the list. Well guess what? Those items will still be there tomorrow. To make myself feel better, I got organized, made a list of things to accomplish tomorrow and as soon as I finish typing this, I'm going to sleep. There's no other way to try making myself feel better. I just need to give up on today and look forward to tomorrow. Sometimes that's the best medicine for us - and maybe some philadelphia cream cheese wouldn't hurt...

Octoberfest Day 23: "Front Wedgie"

Front Wedgie

Neither myself nor Carrie will be climber of the month anytime soon. But we did give an outstanding effort tonight at Climb Iowa. An outstanding effort at trying to get kicked out. Let me back up. For starters, the guy giving us orientation was like the Ben Stein of rock climbing. Think the Dry Eyes commercial. He was about as lively as a tree. He told us we had to fill out the waiver first and I said "oh is that so if I die, I won't try and sue you" And he said "no." Wow. Ok umm that was a joke buddy. It would be hard for me to sue you if I were dead...oh never mind. Geez, tough crowd. He hands us our shoes and tells us they need to be pretty tight. We ask if we need socks and he says "most people don't." So Carrie says to me "you want a genuine experience right?" And then whispered, "I hope they sanitize these." Next step was to get our harness put on. Let me tell you a little something about the harnesses, they aren't comfortable. Carrie made the mistake of jumping ahead in his orientation by asking about the walls and he said "we're going to get to that" Ok point taken. Man this guy is not effing around. I'm sure that the fact that we weren't taking anything he said seriously didn't help. To make matters worse, in the middle of his explanation of the walls, I exclaimed, "oh god, owww I have a front wedgie" he didn't laugh or look impressed. The thing we were both curious about was that if this hurts for a girl, we can't imagine how uncomfortable these things are for the guys. So he takes us to the wall to try out, shows us how to do everything and then says to try it. I made it up the wall a little bit and then you're supposed to just fall back and let the rope rappel you down. Umm, that requires trusting the rope to hold you and when you're high up, that's scary to do. The guy keeps explaining to us the difference in the different walls when we notice a kid (probably age 7) with a huge backpack slung over his shoulder. And Carrie asks the guy if that's his chalk bag. They give you chalk to help your hands when they get sweaty. Or in our case to just put on our hands to look more official. Carrie said she's going to ask for a designer chalk bag for Christmas. Jesus, these little kids are going to smoke us on these walls. So we attempted a wall that the guy said was somewhat easy. Umm, that's a joke. It wasn't easy at all. I made it up a few feet and then had to let the rope carry me to the floor. And by carry I mean I fell and almost landed on a girl sitting on the floor watching her boyfriend scale the walls sans rope. Why would you sit on the floor when people are flying off these walls? So Carrie says she has to use the bathroom (which I'm thinking would be difficult with the harness on) and then tells me she didn't really have to go, she just wanted the guy to be done with orientation Haha. We were finally on our own to tackle these walls. Tried finding the areas that were the easiest to climb. The first one we tried was a little easier than what the guy was showing us but it was still hard. I made it about a third of the way up and then remembered my chalk bag. LOL it doesn't help by the way. And when you're on a rock climbing wall laughing hysterically things get even more difficult. Carrie was down at the bottom laughing and taking pictures of me. So I came down and we decided to try the easiest wall of all. Except a kid was rushing over to it. "Want me to shoulder check him and tell him to get off?" Carrie asked me. "Well it is Ladies' Night, don't they know they should be letting us do this?" I said. "Would you EVER want to do this in real life, like on a real wall?" Carrie said. "Umm negative. This is hard enough." So the little climbers were finally off the easy wall and we set out to attempt it. Mission accomplished! As I scaled the wall in a pretty quick fashion, Carrie was texting our friends "apparently Shawnna's a natural." I need to work on my landing however because I bounced into the side wall as I came down, of course started laughing hysterically A-gain and fell on the floor (see exhibit A picture as proof). Carrie goes, "my favorite part was when you ran into the wall. Now let me attempt this." So she climbs up gets almost all the way to the top and then stops saying "I'm seeing stars." Omg. LOL Yes you better come back down. Carrie had given blood that day so perhaps rock climbing wasn't the greatest idea ever. Her claim to fame is being the first person to pass out mid-climb and pull a Weekend at Bernies. Admittedly we were starting to get tired of climbing, or rather my hands were. We tried a couple of the hard climbs again and after literally flying off the wall back down and almost hitting that girl again (seriously she's still sitting in harms way!), I said, "ok I'm pretty much done." Now there is a group of people doing planks in a circle, not sure why. We thought it would be hilarious if Carrie came down off the wall landing in the middle of their circle, "well hello everyone." Bahahaha. We conquered the easy wall again two more times because it made us feel like official climbers and called it good. My fingers were shaking and my hands couldn't do another climb. It was probably time for us to go anyway, we are not professional climbers which obviously showed. And I think people were getting tired of us complaining about a front wedgie. You try it and you'll see what I mean. Who's got two thumbs, conquered the easy wall at Climb Iowa and no longer has a front wedgie? This girl.

 

Old Pro

I fell

 

Stopping for chalk

 

Baller Status

 

Look at Carrie go!

 

Octoberfest Day 22: "$25 Grilled Cheese Sammich"

Sometimes in life it really helps to know people and have connections. Like when I need an extra quarter for the vending machine. Or in the case of today's Octoberfest activity: like when we want to eat at the Embassy Club overlooking the downtown area. AMAZEBALLS! The Embassy Club (or Des Moines Club) is a verrry fancy restaurant on like the 34th floor of the Ruan building in downtown Des Moines. It offers really fantastic views of the city from all four angles. Strolling into this place was seriously a scene out of Pretty Woman, we were decidedly out of place but yet milking it for all it's worth. By the way, I should mention I've actually never seen Pretty Woman, I'm just familiar with the basic premise. Add theatrically challenged to my list of faults. So we walk in and the place is deserted, guess we are the only two people choosing to eat at 8:00 pm. The host greeted us with a thick, heavy accent and oozing ritzy professionalism. I like it already. I felt important - a bit like royalty except minus the Prince and a topless photo scandal. So we had the run of the place. Which was awesome except we didn't really know how to behave, we just knew we should probably be uber proper. This ought to be interesting. Jill goes "umm excuse me Shawnna, do silence your cell phone please" LOL. The waiter (is he called a waiter at a fancy joint?) brings over our menus and we open them up to find meals starting in the $30 price range. And I don't even know what some of these menu items are. Gulp. Holy shizballs. What happened to the "casual" menu with things more reasonably priced? So we asked about that menu and then suddenly felt like we'd made a big mistake because the waiter hesitated for a long time and then begrudgingly said "yes, you can order from that menu, let me bring it back" Then they scurried around getting those menus and were probably cursing us the entire time. And Jill says to me, "this kind of thing always happens when I'm with you." What can I say? I'm blessed with the ability to turn any situation into a bonafide story of hilariousness. The waiter finally brings the menus back and we were relieved to see the numbers back down into the teens. I had researched the menu before I came and I had my heart set on the grilled cheese sammich - this thing came with havarti cheese, bacon and apple jelly, now doesn't that sound like both an amaze-fest AND a heart attack at the same time? OM. G. It was! It was probably one of the most delicious sandwiches...EVER. Certainly not part of my diet but oh well. I can get back on track tomorrow...or when this month is over. So by the time our drinks, sandwiches and soup got added to the bill it came to $25 per person...for a grilled cheese sandwich. Moment of silence while I digest that fact. Geesh. It's a good thing I don't do this often. I asked the guy if I could get change and he said "we don't actually carry cash here" Oh man, of course they don't. Geez Shawnna what were you thinking??!! I think it's time for me to go before I embarrass myself any further! Thank you Jill for getting us into a prestigious elite club - classic example of when it pays to have friends in high places! Literally! Tomorrow's activity involves altitude as well...of the climbing variety!

Octoberfest Day 21: "Happy Little Trees"

Not Bob Ross

I should have been thinking more clearly. After partying for my mom and dad's anniversary well past 4 am, I should have tried something new when it comes to Octoberfest: like sleep for 15 hours or something. But noooooo, I had to choose another activity on a day when I was dead tired. But never fear, I managed to create a masterpiece on limited sleep and a lazy, dehydrated state of well being. Have you heard of this new concept where you mix painting with socializing? Me neither! But I heart the idea! There have been a couple of these places pop up in Des Moines lately. We took advantage of a Groupon through the Social Canvas in Waukee. Plus we got a free drink. Umm how can I say no to that? Even when I want nothing to do with anything alcoholic. You guys are counting on me for a genuine, authentic experience. And I'm happy to sacrifice, I really am. The really fantastic thing I want to stress here is that ANYone can do this kind of class. I don't care if you think you're so artistically challenged you can't even write your own name. I promise you, you can do this. They even provide all of the materials. After we got checked in, handed me my drink ticket (bonus!), I got my paint on my palette, threw on a smock and I was ready to Bob Ross this place. Plus I got to have a glass of Moscato wine...mmm...mmmm...mmm...So she walked us through each of the steps, instructed us how to create the right color, what brush to use, etc. I can't say this enough, it was super simple I'm not kidding, anyone can do this. The only challenge would be if a person were to take a drink out of the water cup (for the brushes) and put the used brushes in the glass of wine. Apparently that happened to the Friday night class. Obviously, the wine wasn't the highest priority to that person. Duh. The really interesting thing about this class is that everyone's painting ends up looking different. Your interpretation of the instructor's directions means your canvas is unique to everyone else's. I was amazed that I was able to create such a wonderful masterpiece given I was so tired. I'm sure that the wine helped LOL. If you find yourself looking for an activity to do with a group of girls or for a birthday party, etc., I highly recommend looking up the Social Canvas. They do a bunch of different paintings so you can try as many as you'd like! Plus, they are just getting their business going and I think people should support such a creative idea. Kinda like when I started this uber crazy blog - which by the way is now up to over 1,300 page views! I jumped up 100 page views in one day! Kudos to everyone for checking it out, let's keep this baby going!

Octoberfest Day 20: "40 Years"

Forty years ago today, my parents were married at age 18 and 21. Their road together has been full of love, heartache, joy, sorrow, bickering, making up, sickness and good health: the perfect recipe for a sucessful marriage. They have endured a lot and yet they're still together. What a perfect example for the rest of us to follow. Because my parents have done so much for me in my life, I wanted to give something back to them and truly mark such a special occasion. It isn't everyday that you see couples make it this far. I started thinking about a party probably a year ago. I began planning the surprise party late spring, early summer. I set out to find as many of their old friends as I could: softball friends, bowling friends, family, etc. Once I got the list then I started on addresses. Then the ideas really started coming to me: we could have a flashing blue light in honor of them meeting at K-Mart which is where they both worked, I could have a small replica of their cake made, we could have a DJ, etc. Then I started putting everything into action. I nailed down a location and then created the invitations. I used pictures from their actual wedding album. How did I manage that without them knowing? Well there's an app for that. Of course there is. And I'm breaking my rule of not getting my head out of my apps but it allowed me to scan the pictures out of their wedding album and had high enough resolution for me to print them. Got the rest of the addresses, mailed the invitations, secured the DJ and put the deposit down on the location. Keep in mind that I was doing all of this while attending grad school, doing freelance work and working full-time. Oh and once October hit, doing an activity every day and blogging about it. Geesh. Once everything was in motion, I was able to get a great deal on a cake through my cousin Maddie who works for the Bake Shoppe in Windsor Heights (fantastic cakes, highly recommend them!), we decided to provide beefburgers for food, I purchased a couple of Groupons for decorations through Nobbies, and I was all set. The planning really took a lot out of me. I was ready to just have the party and not have to worry about the organization anymore.

The day of, I decided that in addition to the party, my activity for Octoberfest would be to get my hair and makeup done. Well played by me. It ended up being literally the best I've ever looked in my life. I felt so confident and pretty and just really excited about the party for my parents. Plus, we ended up getting some really fantastic pictures as you can see here. I got to the location of the party to set up around 3:30 pm. Guests were scheduled to arrive by 6:30 pm and my parents were supposed to get there at 7:30 pm. Everyone asked me how we were getting my parents to the place. For one, we told them long before that my cousin Toby's boyfriend David's birthday was also that day and she was having a party for him. About a week before the party I told them that we were taking them out to a steak dinner for their anniversary. They wanted to be surprised by the restaurant which was perfect; they could pick me up from "David's party" and we'd all ride to the restaurant. Oh and I also told them they should wear lavender/purple because it was their wedding color. Yes, I tried to think of everything. We set everything up, got the food cooking, cake was all set, DJ arrived and then guests started trickling in around 6:30. All in all, I bet we had about 70 people come to the party. Which was a really good number. It was time for my parents to arrive. I wondered if maybe they had an inkling of what was going to happen...

No, they sure didn't. The look on their faces was so perfect that it made all the stress of getting to that point worth it. My mom cried for sure and some people said it looked like my dad started to as well. Mission accomplished! Super duper good deed for my parents and they were so thrilled. It was really fantastic to see. They were 100% surprised and didn't have a clue to anything. From that moment on, it was a lot easier for me to relax and have a good time knowing they were there and everything was done. The party really had a natural progression of activity. After my parents greeted everyone, we made them cut their cake and had to remind them of what their cake looked like because they didn't realize it was a replica LOL. Then we made them dance to "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain and my mom cried A-gain. After that, we all hit the dance floor and proceeded to cut a serious rug. Man I wish people still talked like that. I could have said that my dance card was full all night. Of course the night went by too fast and I wish we could have stayed longer, dancing and having fun but all good things must come to an end. It was truly a wonderful party, it was so great to see so many people, I felt absolutely beautiful and the best part of all is how happy my parents were. Made it worth the blood, sweat and tears. Until my mom locked my keys in my car. Hey, I never said they were perfect! LOL. Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad! Here's to another 40 years! :) 

 

Octoberfest Day 19: "Pumpkin Spice, and Everything Nice"

Not good (for the diet)

I woke up on Friday with a LOT to get done. When you read Day 20, you'll understand just what I'm talking about. I took the day off, not so I could relax but so I could get an overabundance of things accomplished. Including fit in an Octoberfest activity. I decided to get that out of the way right away so I met an old professor from Simpson for coffee and breakfast. As an homage to not only Octoberfest but Halloween around the corner, I opted for a Pumpkin Spice latte from Panera. Amaze-Fest USA. That coffee was more than just delish, it was delightful, it was delectable, it was de-sinful. I mean where has that been all my life? It was definitely a great way to start my day. After that, a couple of crazy things happened to me. For one, my professor wants me to speak to one of his classes about the importance of not giving up. You may recall that I lost my job three years ago and dug myself out of a pretty significant financial crisis. I was super flattered that he would ask me to speak to his class. And I will whip those kids in shape! Just kidding, I'll just talk about my story. It's something that comes naturally from me, as the storyteller that I am. We continued talking some more and I told him that I've thought about teaching someday at the college level and he said "would you be interested in teaching for Simpson? We need part-time evening/weekend professors for next fall." Umm, whaaaa? I mean when I said that I was thinking about teaching someday, I didn't really think the "someday" would be next year. But I guess he's leaving for London to teach a semester abroad and they will be needing faculty. Professor Stiver? Has a nice ring to it. I'll definitely consider what he's proposing. In the meantime, I had a lot to accomplish on Friday so I couldn't sit and chat with him forever even though I would have liked to. I got all of my stuff pretty much done and all I had left to do was cook 20 lbs. of hamburger meat. Gulp. I mean we've already established how terrible I am in the kitchen. How in the H am I going to do this? My cousin said to me "Shawnna if you screw up cooking hamburger meat, god help any guy who may date you." LOL. She's right. How could I possible screw this up? I know what you're thinking, "yep, she screwed it up." You're partially right. I didn't screw up the actually cooking part but I did have a little baby disaster when I tried to strain the meat. Let's just say that a large chunk of the meat flew onto my counter and part of the floor. No big deal. I cleaned it up and lost about a pound of hamburger. Worse things could happen right?  Like Starbucks and Panera could stop offering that Pumpkin Spice Latte, that would be an even bigger disaster...

Octoberfest: Day 18 "Desperate Tannerisms"

Not normal

Let's face it. I'm never going to be a Desperate Housewife - er Housegirl - of Des Moines. For one, there's simply not enough salacious gossip going around. For another, my idea of a catfight would be knocking over someone's water bottle and saying "so there." The drama just isn't in my bones. But I'm really good at pretending so for today's activity, I thought I'd get into character and do something a desperate housewife, or an Orange County housewife, or an Atlanta housewife, or a Jersey housewife would do: get a spray tan. Now I know what you're all thinking...as we approach winter, the time of year when we're completely bundled up and covered, why would I want to tan my skin that nobody will see? It's simple. In the name of science I wanted to see how far they've come with spray tan technology. Now let me just throw the disclaimer out and say that I tried a spray tan booth as opposed to a person who custom spray tans you. Call me crazy but I just wasn't really in the mood to get a tan sprayed on me sans clothing in front of a random stranger. I know the Housewives do it. I guess I'm just not that desperate. In any case, I'm here to tell you that they really have come a LONG way with spray tans. I wasn't sure what to expect at all but I was willing to experiment knowing full well that the outcome could have been disastrous. And it was. At least for about 12 hours. In those twelve hours, my face looked like the tanning mom Patricia that we all heard about recently. Saturday Night Live spoofed her even. If you're unsure who I'm referring to, I've conveniently added a picture as reference. Yes, my face was borderline THAT bad. And I was sweating orange bullets. I thought about taking a picture of myself but it was too embarrassing LOL. I went to bed thinking to myself "dear Lord, please make my face normal colored by morning, I swear I will behave for the rest of my life, sincerely, Me." I woke up the next day - face as orange as ever. Uggggg!!! OMG what am I going to do? I mean do I say that I was in a face tanning accident or that the spray booth got stuck permanently on FACE mode? Ok. Let's take a deep breath and not notice that I'm inhaling a tropical tanning scent. I almost called Classic Tan to ask them about it but I figured well there's nothing anyone can do about it now. Maybe if I take a shower, it will help? Suddenly I remembered the girl telling me that something washed off within the first showering so I quickly disrobed and jumped in hoping and praying that my face looked normal when I was done. THANK THE LORD!!! It worked. I was no longer Patricia's sidekick. Phew that was a close one. I can honestly say that I was impressed with the tan. It looked very natural and hardly anyone noticed. Except for Abe who said to me "have you been tanning??!" in an accusatory way like I just betrayed some sort of natural way of living. Well yes. I was getting into character. And experimenting. Everything that resembles Octoberfest. So for anyone thinking about trying a spray tan, I would recommend it. They really have come a long way and it looked very natural. I may not be desperate but I am tan.

Not cool